5 Tips for Talking to Your Parents About Their Estate Plan

 Posted on May 18, 2025 in Estate Planning

Many adult children feel anxious about discussing estate planning with their aging parents. It can be uncomfortable to bring up subjects like death, incapacity, and money, especially when emotions tend to be very complicated around these topics. But if your parents do not have an estate plan in place, or if their plan is outdated, your family could face serious difficulties during an already painful time.

At Anderson Attorneys, P.C., our Cook County, IL estate planning attorney helps families start these conversations with compassion and clarity. Here are five tips to guide you in speaking with your parents about their estate plan.

How Can You Bring Up Estate Planning Without Causing Offense?

You do not need to be confrontational or intrusive to begin the conversation. Instead, focus on your concern for your parents’ well-being and your desire to avoid stress or confusion down the road. Try asking open-ended questions or offering examples from your own life, such as:

• "I just created my own will. Have you and Mom talked to a lawyer about doing something like that?"

• "If something ever happened to you, would you want me or someone else to be in charge of medical decisions?"

• "Do you have any documents in place that say what should happen with your house or your accounts?"

Frame the conversation around planning for peace of mind, and be very cautious to avoid giving the impression you are interested in taking control or inheriting money.

What Legal Documents Should You Ask Your Parents About?

Your parents’ estate plan may include a will, a trust, powers of attorney for finances and healthcare, and advanced medical directives. Each of these documents plays a different role, from outlining who inherits property to identifying who will handle decision-making if your parents become unable to do so themselves. It is also important to ask where these documents are kept. Even the best plan is not helpful if no one knows where to find it.

When Should You Have a Conversation About Your Parents’ Estate Plan?

The best time to talk about estate planning is before a health crisis happens. Choose a quiet, private time, not during a holiday or family event. Consider having the conversation in person or by video call if your parents live far away. Be patient. They may need time to think before responding or may prefer to speak with an attorney before making any decisions.

How Can a Lawyer Help with Estate Planning?

An Illinois estate planning attorney will take time to understand your parents’ needs and explain their options clearly. This process can help avoid unnecessary conflict, ensure that wishes are honored, and provide confidence that everything has been done correctly under Illinois law.

At Anderson Attorneys, P.C., we often work with adult children who want to help their parents prepare and we welcome families to come in together if that feels more comfortable.

Contact a Cook County, IL Estate Planning Attorney

Talking to your parents about their estate plan is not easy, but it is one of the most loving things you can do. To learn how to get started, contact a DuPage County, IL estate planning attorney at Anderson Attorneys, P.C. for a free consultation. Call 847-850-8899 today to speak with someone who understands how to make this process easier for everyone involved.